


He Is The Blood

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Diary/Journal, Harry is kinda needy, Harry is not dead, Harry loves Louis so much it's hurtin, Louis-centric, M/M, One Shot, Pining, deep, louis realizes, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8771077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Louis is lost. Harry left him only a diary when he left. Probably that'll help him realize what he's been missing. (ft. Diary entries)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, it's shit, I know. But, I swear this was just a mini fic that I started posting on my twitter. I love the plot so much. Read and bless up;

Louis clutches the worn down diary and sits down with his regular coffee and the irregular tears. He runs his fingers over the fiery edges. Fiery? Yes, it was filled with something that was burning... with rage.. something so powerful, he could feel it. He examines the thread, holding down the tea spilled pages, stained a faint brown and crisp. His face was almost wet, his coffee drowning him in an unsatisfying feeling of warmth. He wanted more. His fingers tremble even though it's just a small object. An small, dainty object with powerful feelings. He tightens the grip on the coffee, his nose wheezing out some phlegm. The pain, the memories, the wounds, the happy times, he was gonna read it now. Something that Harry had hid from him all the time he spent with him. Louis wanted to drown and choke himself. He wipes himself with the sweater he's wearing and it apparently smells like Harry. His musky, cinnamon and bitter orange sweetness seeping through the shirt.

"Oh Harry." He cries out, unable to keep sanity within him. Hell breaks loose within his tear ducts and sniffles and weeps with the diary in his bony lap. He slaps himself awake and urgently undoes the brown thread holding the pages. He gets rid of the knot and carefully slides on to the first page. It's stiff but he manages.

 

_May 4, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_I ran into a man with two cups of coffee today and guess what? You are brown in color now! You are coffee stained. Makes you more cliché, eh? Yeah, but I yelled at that fucker for doing it. Hope I'll_

_never see him again. Oh god, how clumsy are people? Oh and I need to wake up at 7 tomorrow. It's killing me. Nothing major, rest o' day._

 

Louis smiles at that, remembering his first day meeting Harry. Now he remembers, the pages weren't tea, it was coffee stained. He also remembers running after him like a madman because he called him a fucking dick. Louis would never forget. He smiles weakly at the stained memories of that day, now wiping it clean with a wet cloth. He flips to the next page,

 

_May 5, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_Got Jones fired today. What an ass, like.. pfft. And also, the coffee dick from yesterday, he saw me at the bar, today. Can't believe this. Fate is playing me. But, guess what Diary, I saw him close up today, like really. He was amazing, high cheekbones, petite figure, pouty lips, great hair, wow. Like really, he was amazing. He looked more decent as of today? I think he's hot, that's all. But he's still a bastard. Nothing much after._

 

 

Louis' face crinkles up a bit after the way Harry had described him. It was cute and endearing yet angry and rage-y? He tears have dried up now, his face and beard itching a bit. But he had no time or mood for that. He flips again.

 

_May 7, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_Hey! I'm sorry for not writing on yesterday's. Was really tired. Long shift at the bar. Being the boss and to work kinda sucks yeah? Anyways, What happened? Oh yes. I saw him again. There days in a row. Fuck you, fate. Just because I said I never want to meet him ever again, it doesn't mean that you put him there for three fucking days. I still keep giving him death glares though. I'm a freak, yeah. Probably he's nice, but I just don't know. Let's see what time does to me. Be nice._

 

Louis also vaguely remembers the three days in a row thing between them. Everything that they did after that, they were the 'three days' rule. Louis manages to force his lips into a curve. His finger slips through a random page and he opens it and reads.

 

_May 17, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_Why do I feel sad? Why do I feel sad for some guy whom I barely know? I don't know him but he wasn't there today. Please come back, coffee dick, I miss you. I can't believe I'm saying it, but yes. I miss you._

Louis uncontrollably lets a single tear roll down to that page, spreading out the ink into different directions. He doesn't want to smudge it, he leaves it alone. He flips again, now his fingers searching to find another gem like this one.

_ May 28, 14. _

_Dear Diary,_

_That fucker asked me out today. The one who I kinda like but I hate? Yeah, that one. I told you, he is a good one. Probably I should keep him._

Louis also remembers his fucking fancy date that cost him a fortune. He knew Harry was something valuable. He tried his best to impress him. It's crystal clear in his memory. He would give up anything to get that day back. After all, it was the first time Louis kissed him. His smiles become more frequent, reading all those pages, of how much Harry had missed him over the weekend but also insisting he hated him. As mentioned in the book, Harry hated how charming he was, how his face crinkles when he smiles and how he keeps poking his dimples every time they talked. It was heart warming to be reading this. He flipped some pages again. 

_July 23, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_Why is he so nice to me? He said he loved me today. I can't function, actually. He loves me. Me, a piece of trash. He deserves so much, not my sickening love. But, I think he was joking around. I couldn't react beyond a few tears. So, I held on to him, hugged him and kissed the living life out of him, because... I realized something too. I am too hopelessly in love with him and I'm a coward for not admitting that. I hate myself for realizing that too late. I hope we work out, because I really want it. I want it so bad, even though I don't tell it out that loud. Louis, I love you so much._

Louis is spellbound and enchanted by his words. It was the first time he said that out loud, at least to himself. His face was puffing up slowly, at a steady pace. When Harry told him to read this before storming out that door, he had no idea what he was in for. He cried, but. Harry was far more in love with him and Louis was too late to realize that. He wipes his cheek, and flips to the next page.

_July 24, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_That's it. I'm done. He hasn't talked to me after that and it's killing me. Does he hate me now? I hope not. I love him too much now and I think it's too late to turn back now. It's been almost three months now and.. I don't know, I'm falling. Help._

Louis doesn't know how to react. He couldn't actually believe how much Harry had loved him. He remembers Harry acting all weird one day. It was this day. He's holding such a small thing, such a tiny object that holds the key to all of Harry's emotions. He wants to keep it close to him, absorb it's warmth and lay in it forever. He silently mutters, "Harry please come back to me. I miss you too much." He flips a few pages again and there it was, the crown jewel.

_August 13, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_I mustered up courage as much as I could today. It was necessary. I had to stop being a fool and hiding away from him. He is pulling me back to him. Now, I'm writing this, with him in my pants, in my bed and he looks dreamy. I'm thankful I told him, I can never be able to forget this day, I'll hold it close in here forever. Louis, if you are reading this sometime, just know this, I'm sorry for being a dick to you the whole of those two weeks. I just loved you too much to be fair and I was really scared to tell it to you that fast. I knew you were joking around the other day and that's that. I'm sorry I hurt you, baby. You don't deserve it. But I love you, and I'll love you forever. H._

Louis is heart broken at that. He said he would love him forever but he left him. He went and Louis let him go. He couldn't forgive himself for doing such a cruel act. He's crying helplessly now but somehow he's holding on to that damned diary for his dear life. He moved on to a new page.

_September 28th, 14._

_Dear Diary,_

_My life is something so spectacular, something so giving and good, kind, fruitful even when he's with me. So, today, I asked him to be mine forever. I couldn't help it. I knew that aura, He was the one. I settled on a small platinum band with his initials on it. It looked small and pretty like him. He shrieked when he saw it but he immediately hugged me and cried and kissed my lips. He is intoxicating, like a drug, you get addicted. You always want more. He is the air, he is the sun, he is the skin, he is the blood._

Louis loses it at that. He possibly couldn't go on. But he does. He rubs his fingers over the pretty platinum that sits on his finger. Paining and hurting, it is, but he wants it. He wants Harry's love to bring him to his senses, fill him up with realization and let himself into it. It hurt, but mostly out of how much he actually loves Harry. He moves on to their wedding day, which took place in the course of a month because they literally couldn't wait. They wanted each other badly. He turns the pages rapidly till his eyes met the date he was waiting for.

_October 27, 14._   


  
_Dear Diary,_

_I get to keep him now. In my heart, in my soul and right here in my eyes. I looked into his beautiful oceanic eyes and I saw home. This is where I belonged and my ship has sailed safely and brought me home with the aid of his compass. He anchored me when I was about to hit my hardest rock, pulled me up with the strongest rope he could ever use to pull me up with. He shone as my lighthouse in the darkest of days when I was lost, stumbling. He has guided me home to him and I can surely say that the ship will never, ever sink because it's anchored hard to love. He's mine, I'm his._  


Louis' jubilant at that and he's determined to get Harry back, no matter what the cost may be. He's going to love him, endless, and it's final. He wants to read one last page. That's it and he's going. He wants to read the last page. He rummages a lot of pages and finally reaches it.

_March 22, 16._

  
_Dear Diary,_

_I'm leaving him. He hurts me and I want to throw things at him tell him to stop doing that but I also want to kiss his soft lips and tell him how much I love him. But, I don't really think he does anymore. He yells and yells and never sleeps. I want to cry, punch a wall. I'm going to give you to him, Diary. This is actually my every thought, feeling about him and he should know how much I love him and how much I will love him, forever. If you're reading this Louis, I'm doing this for your own good. Be happy. I'm done._  


Louis shivers at that. The thought of his husband leaving him and saying he's done with his crap, no. Louis needed Harry more than he knew. Louis was done with his own shit. It was time to put Harry's love in front of everything because it mattered more than anything else. 

He shuts the diary abruptly, and runs back into their home to put on his coat and grab the car keys. He definitely knew where Harry would be right now. 

He turns on the ignition, and the car zooms to the place where Louis thought he would be. He stops near the lake, around the corner where a small, rusty coffee shop stood. It is still the same as it was two years back. He jogs to the place, his keys jingling in his pocket, the diary, fresh in his hand. 

He reaches and he finally looks through the glass to reveal Harry in his red, flowery shirt which Louis had bought him for their first anniversary. He looks half-hearted as he sips his coffee, his luggage beside the table. Louis barges in the cafe, unable to wait any longer.

The bell chimes and Harry snaps his head towards the door to reveal Louis looking at him with doe eyes. Harry suddenly gets up, angry, his face red.

"What are you d-" and Louis seals his lips with his own and Harry gives in. Louis moves his lips, apologetically, breathing "Sorry... sorry... I love you, I'm sorry." as they kissed passionately for a while. They were interrupted by a man who cleared his throat. They pull apart, looking around embarrassed and finally Louis talks.

"I know I was a dick to you, then and now but, you, you are my everything Harry. I'm sorry I didn't realize that all these days and I blamed all my failures on you. I know that you were the best decision I ever made but I forgot and I don't think I can ever take it back but if you let me, I promise, I promise I'll build a new paradise for the two of us, and make you, my first priority. I want nothing but you, darling. Please, come home? I miss you too much and I'm sorry for the gazillionth time." He breathes out and he looks 

"Louis? Please don't ever do that to me again." He says, clinging on to Louis's shirt and he wraps his arms around him. "I missed you too dear."

They buy two more coffees and head back home, happy and content. Actually, happy is an understatement. They were ecstatic.

Louis kissed Harry feverishly, tugging on his loose curls and Harry happily hummed and both of them stood there, tracing each other's platinum bands.

~~~~~~

That night, they slept, in peace, in absolute silence only their steady breaths in the air. Louis had his nose buried his soft curls smelling his vanilla filled scent. Harry slept with a smile.

The journal opened on the wind's effect and the writing was written on today's entry.

_March 23, 16._

_Dear Diary,_

_He came back. I knew he would. He is probably now holding me tight in our bed; I love him, he loves me. He is the air, he is the sun, he is the skin, he is the blood._

_~~~~~~_

**Author's Note:**

> Talk!  
> Twitter - @strawzarry


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